What Can a Wide Receiver Teach Men About Being a Husband?

Men. You like football! You think about sports all the time.

Maybe you should think about your wife a little. Think of her as a football.

Yeah. Wisdom here. Just lap it up. Because we need to teach you things by making them into relatable sports analogies that aren’t too difficult. Because all you MEN are white, suburban middle-class sports fans. And all of you are dumb and clueless and clumsy at relationships. And all your wives are sweet but eye-rolling at your selfishness.

Football players know all about marriage, after they clean up their selfish selves.

Yeah. This will open your eyes. Be a wife receiver.

Money quote: “Sometimes my wife coming at me looks a whole lot more like a porcupine than a pigskin.”